I'll have a horse with BBQ sauce please

I am hungry. My opposite twin, Gail and I have started a "diet". Such a nasty word! Gail and I have spent the last few months eating lunch together. We eat trash. No, not literally. But bacon, fries, chips and soda are our secret lovers. A "Biggest Loser" contest at work, with a jackpot of 400 bucks, is our motivation. I was just going to be Gail's coach "Jillian", but since it would be rude to continue to scarf down fries and soda in front of her, I would have to start eating "healthy" too, so I joined up.
On Monday the 28th a representative from L.A. Fitness showed up at our work with some dangerous weapons - calipers, measuring tape, and a scale. We were weighed, pinched, poked, prodded and measured. I will spare you the results.
Today is day 3. I need chocolate. I need it bad. We have cut out all soda, fries, and chips. Exercise is encouraged. Gail and I actually had salad for lunch. Gone are the days of jovial lunchtime conversation. Now we just munch on dry, flavorless veggies like two very depressed rabbits. Mmm...rabbits...I hear they taste like chicken....