Bacon = Heaven

I was in bed last night watching the food network. Not unusual, but last night was special. Iron Chef America happened to be on and it was the Bacon Challenge! I was drooling from the moment the secret ingredient was announced!

Can you imagine? Bacon is the manna of livestock! You can barbecue it, broil it, bake it, saute it, smoke it, double-smoke it, cure it. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's maple bacon, smoked bacon, Irish bacon, Canadian bacon, bacon soup, bacon stew, bacon salad, bacon and potatoes, bacon burgers, bacon sandwiches, BLTs, bacon and pasta, pineapple and bacon, bacon wrapped meats .

It was a glorious episode! However, I was disappointed that the chefs did not make bacon flavored ice cream or a dessert sprinkled in bacon bits. I bet yellow cake with cream cheese frosting and crumbled bacon would have made heads turn. (Maybe stomachs turn, but doubtful.)

Well, for all you bacon enthusiasts out there, you already know that there is bacon flavored dental floss available for that fresh, just ate feeling. It might come in handy on the first Sunday of the month for some of us. Like aromatherapy for your teeth and gums.
And for those accident prone individuals, there are bacon shaped bandages. Like a steak on a black eye will reduce swelling and bruising, the adhesive plastic in the shape of meat slabs, will trick your mind into healing faster. Be warned! You may get the urge to give yourself a paper cut just to use a mouth-watering band aid. I once asked a preacher if there will be bacon in heaven. He choked on his bag of pork rinds before he could answer.