I'll Clean Your Clock

POW!I am at my parent's house for a nice long visit and the clock that my Grandfather built in 1992 is not working.
I took it apart yesterday and then cleaned it today. I greased up the gears and wah-lah.
It still doesn't work. But at least it is clean and well lubricated.

(I have also been watching numerous action films. I can probably use an automatic or newly acquired ninja skills and could clean your clock in more ways than one.)

I often sneeze like Goofy. It is about time I get recognized for it...

What Thanksgiving brings...

Last month I neglected to mention all the things I am grateful for. Well, there is no time for all that now! I will however, mention two wonderful things I am grateful for that Thanksgiving brings:

A. Cranberry Sauce - it gets overlooked the rest of the year. Sad because it is darn right tasty!
(I got a similar shirt for my Saucy roommate for her birthday.)

B. Christmas Music - I can finally listen to it without getting too many dirty looks.

(Featured: Barry Manilow's "Because It's Christmas". Love it!)

Eat Me! Sautéed or Barbeque...

Ah, Sweet November! The leaves are turning, the air is getting nippy, and the heavenly scent of turkey will soon fill the air. I love that bird! Roasted, smoked, grilled, fried, ground, sautéed, or BBQed! However, there are just some things that shouldn't be turkey flavored or shaped.Yes, you read that correctly. Turkey and gravy SODA. Truthfully, I haven't tasted it, but unless I had no teeth left or my mouth was wired shut, I don't think I would drink this stuff.

As for the above, this is an Ice Cream Cake from Baskin Robbins. Um....not so appetizing. It looks plastic. That's probably the first time I wouldn't eat ice cream. Well, actually, I would totally eat it, but I would eat it in the dark.

Accent Appeal

I have been watching the HSN* in the mornings before work...and sometimes after work.... They had some Christmas items on sale by Colin Cowie. I don't exactly know who Colin is, but from what I can gather, he is a male version of Martha Stewart. However, I enjoy him immensely because of his accent. I love it! Take a listen.



I had trouble placing where his accent is from. Is it European? Australian? Austrian? And then it hit me! The Saint! He has the accent of Val Kilmer as Thomas More, the martyr, the poet.

And all this time I thought Val was making up that accent! Au Contraire! Val is an excellent actor. Heck of a job Val! Heck of an accent Colin!

* HSN - Home Shopping Network
And no, I haven't ordered anything on there...yet.

More like Gold Lining!

Things are looking up!

This week at work I get to work with rat brains!!! I am soooo excited! I get to homogenize the brain tissue (grind it up) and then aliquot it! Yay! Brain tissue! Can you believe it? (Much more exciting than plasma, urine, or feces.)
I even emailed my sister to inform her of my good fortune, "I am working with rat brains today!"
She replied, "You get all the breaks!"
Indeed!

Hair

I was told years ago to go into the hair-transplant industry. Hair plugs are looking more natural every day. Revolutionizing hair products in the form of pills and shampoos are being introduced to the masses: Hair Club for Men, Rogain, Propecia, Revivogen, etc.
I am in favor of any miracle cure, but I am also in favor of rugs, toupees, hairpeices, and wigs because sometimes you just need...more.

For Halloween I dressed up as a doll this year. (I know, you are thinking, "Jay-dub, where is the stretch in that? You could have rolled out of bed and wah-lah! Doll.") But to make Halloween a little more special, I made my own wig out of yarn and a beanie.

It took quite a while to make. I had to sew like the wind to get it done. It was an extensive procedure.

So I wanted to say THANK YOU to all you wig makers out there! You are a cracker-jack group of people! Thanks for making people feel confident about their heads again!


Here is a picture of me, all dolled up.

American Measurements

Oh, how I wish we used the metric system! In America we throw around words like, couple, few, several, buttload, many, a lot, etc. But how much are we really talking about?

Thanks to this video entitled "The Buttload Debuncle" one of life's mysteries has been solved.

Hey Two Eyes!

Oh, Jan Brady, you silly girl! Afraid of looking "Positively Goofy"?

If only I COULD look positively goofy, BUT I can't find my glasses! I don't know where I left them and I just can't see without my glasses. I am stuck wearing contacts everyday so by the end of the day I just want to poke my eyes out.

Now I know how Velma feels when she falls over in a cave and loses her glasses and then they get stepped on. It's a wretched way to live.

Rockets...

The other day my roommate and I were walking down La Jolla Boulevard (a somewhat hoity-toit area of San Diego's La Jolla) and as we were crossing a small side-street we noticed a cyclist riding toward us. He turned his head, looking at us as he passed. We watched him reach his hand up, placing one hand on his left nostril and blow out of the other nostril. Snot shot out of his nose just feet from where we stood. I could have been killed by this snot rocket (or as the Idahoans call it, a farmer blow). Disgusting!

Why Vote YES on Proposition 8?

A Yes on Prop 8 = "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

Why is this so important to me? In short it will lead to conflicts with religious liberty. In long...read on...

(As any Christian, our goal is to have a love for all men. We can love someone while still maintaining and supporting our beliefs and standards.)

Gay couples will not lose anything if Prop 8 passes. In California, the law provides for marriage-related benefits to be given to civil unions and domestic partnerships. Yes on Proposition 8 does not diminish these benefits.

I "do not object to rights (already established in California) regarding hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights, so long as these do not infringe on the integrity of the family or the constitutional rights of churches and their adherents to administer and practice their religion free from government interference." - www.lds.org

Changing the definition of marriage would have a snowball effect on religious freedoms of all sorts. The following are a few key points taken from "whatisprop8.com". This is what will happen if Prop 8 does NOT pass:

Children in public schools will have to be taught that same-sex marriage is just as good as traditional marriage. The California Education Code already requires that health education classes instruct children about marriage. (§51890) If gay marriage remains legal, public schools will put it on equal footing with traditional marriage. There will be serious clashes between the secular school system and the right of parents to teach their children their own values and beliefs.

Churches may be sued over their tax exempt status if they refuse to allow same-sex marriage ceremonies in their religious buildings open to the public.

Religious adoption agencies will be challenged by government agencies to give up their long-held right to place children only in homes with both a mother and a father.

Ministers who preach against same-sex marriages may be sued. Over time, greater acceptance of nontraditional marriage will be demanded of all people. This could impact the ability of any religion to teach and practice its beliefs.

The court’s decision will inevitably lead to conflicts with religious liberty and free speech rights. Society will become more and more hostile to traditional beliefs about marriage and family.

It will cost you money. This change in the definition of marriage will bring a cascade of lawsuits, including some already lost (e.g., photographers cannot now refuse to photograph gay marriages; doctors cannot now refuse to perform artificial insemination of gays even given other willing doctors).

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, family is key to our religion. We believe marriage is sacred, ordained of God, and is between one man and one woman, as is described in our the 1995 declaration "The Family: A Proclamation to the World".

Didn't pilgrims come from England for the freedom of religion? That is what we are still fighting for.

For more information try these sites:
http://www.protectmarriage.com/
http://www.preservingmarriage.org/
http://www.whatisprop8.com/

Get a load of those snappers, Ralph!

Talk about exciting! Ingenious even! Brilliant! I was at home this weekend and I happened to borrow my parent's toothpaste. Did you know that the 12-hour multi-protection, fluoride, anti-cavity, anti-plaque, extra whitening, tatar control, baking soda and peroxide toothpastes we all know and love now come with BREATH STRIPS too???? Yes! Tiny pieces of film that dissolve in your mouth for long-lasting fresh breath!



I don't know about you, but I am waiting for them to make a toothpaste that will not only clean, whiten, freshen, and protect my mouth, but will straighten my teeth and then walk my dog too.

(In anticipation) Maybe I should go buy a dog.

Celebrity Morph

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity

I know I just posted about Celebrity look-a-likes, but I thought this morphing thing was cra-azy! I am not claiming to look like SJP. (I think our heads just happened to be tilted the same.) The truth is, I have gotten a couple of "You look like Chelsea Clinton"s. It makes me cringe every time. Ugh. Does anyone know a good plastic surgeon?

Celebrity Look-A-Likes

The other night I was looking at my friend's blog and noticed she had a photo display of celebrities she looks like. Right away I knew who I look like.

Same disheveled blond hair, beady blue eyes, pale skin, vacant look on our faces...


Uncanny, isn't it?

(Yes, it is Wart from Sword in the Stone.)

Picture of Health

Well, for those of you anxiously awaiting a health report, I can tell you my armpit is feeling much better.
I am prone to infection. Over labor day weekend I developed a lump under my armpit. It was terribly painful and I couldn't put my arm down by my side for the pain. The lump was similar in looks to the infamous cheek infection of Thanksgiving 2006 and the dreaded leg infection of May 2007 - a red, hot, swollen, sore lump. This time I had the sense to go to the Doc who sliced me open and drained me. I have been on antibiotics for a week now and I feel like a million bucks.

The Flip

While in Tucson, Arizona over Labor Day I met a guy named "Fry" (Jeffrey). I was told he detests girls when they wear their hair half-pulled back with a little poof of height over their forehead. Well Fry, I, along with some other ladies, wear our hair in the "flip", as you call it, all the time. So there.

"I'm a tub."

I was just chatting with my friend who said she was going to play soccer tomorrow night and she asked if I wanted to play. I replied, "No. I am a tub." She didn't understand. It took me a minute to realize my slang word derives from the term "tub of lard" or "tub-o-lard". It means that I feel fat and sluggish.

Now you know.

Educating the world one blog entry at a time.

There are only two kinds of people in this world...

Those that love coconut and those that don't.
I love coconut...Sheen at work went to Guam and brought back some coconut flavored pretzels. I can't find them anywhere, but I ordered this on-line and I am impatiently waiting its arrival.

(Coconut Milk...young coconuts must love it!)

Hope for the Ordinary

Alright. Alright. I did it. I too got sucked into the "Twilight" series of books by Stephenie Meyer. I stayed up late last night finishing the first book.

I can't help but wonder why the main character, Bella, is so...unendearing. I found myself hoping she would live for the sole purpose that the story could continue. She is constantly described as ordinary and klutz-like. Too much so in my opinion, until I got thinking about it. If she were gorgeously breathtaking as Edward seems to be, we would hate her. The fact that she is so ordinary gives all awkward and drab girls everywhere the hope for an enthralling love. Because heck, your blood might be captivatingly alluring. One can always hope.

Tomatoes = Manna?

The Great Lambini game to visit this weekend! She kindly brought me some fresh Bakersfield grown tomatoes, peppers, and a few other garden items. From the moment the box of veggies entered my grasp, I had visions of heaven's vegetabliest fruit - the tomato - dancing in my head.

Last night I raced home from work and whipped up a nice batch of salsa. Not knowing the heat of the Bakersfield pepper variety that I was given, I cut the tips off of several peppers and had a little taste test. After the first tester, my mouth was on FIRE so much so that I have no idea how hot any other pepper was after that. I carefully removed most of the placenta and seeds and added it to the vat. (It ended up quite delightful.)

Now, it is common knowledge that one should use gloves when working with hot peppers as the peppers contain capsaicinoids, that produce the burning sensation in the mouth (FIRE!), wrecking havoc on your exocrine glands, causing you to leak - tears, runny nose, and sweat. Every few weeks I stick my pepper ridden hands in my eyes to take out my contacts resulting in a nice burning sensation, not only then, but in the morning when I put the contacts back in. I still don't use gloves, but I was told to use Aloe Vera to sooth the pain. I am here to report that Aloe on a cotton ball rubbed on my eyelids did cause relief!

Incredible that you can fight one plant with another one, eh?

If the glue sticks...

Isn't it funny the things you said as a kid? Especially when you fight with words or argue. "No backsies." "blah blah blah...infinity." Do you remember the famous children's adage "I'm rubber and you are glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you."?
Yesterday at work two coworkers were exchanging some words. Then the first apologized to the second for always giving him a hard time. The second responded, "Yeah yeah yeah, don't give me that I'm rubber and your glue bit! You throw some glue at some rubber and you'll see that it sticks!" I laughed for a good five minutes. That is not even the point of the saying.

Tribute to the Olympics

Dear Olympics,

How have you been? Oh, how I have missed you!

Love,
Jay-Dub


Seriously folks, that opening ceremony was nothing short of awesome!


As amazing as the opening ceremony was, I am sure we are in for an equally amazing badminton tournament this year!

Tribute to Sea World

Dear Sea World,

How have you been? Oh, how I have missed you!

Me? How have I been you ask? Same 'ol.

Love,
Jay-dub

It has been a few years since I last went to see Shamu and friends. Not much has changed. Shamu is still a big black and white whale and you still get wet if you sit in the first ten rows.

BELIEVE is the new Shamu show and it was pretty entertaining with the music and the pagan whale worshiping.
No matter what you say, the dolphin show is my favorite. It always will be. It gets me every time and I can still sing the pre-show song. (Don't tempt me..."If your sitt'n in the first ten rows...")





Here is a picture of some Shamu loving fools. (Gail, Me, and Danny - my work mates.)


Yay for Sea World!

Steele Singing?

I am a Pierce Brosnan fan.
I fell in love with Pierce when I was in high school. I was sick one day from school when I happened upon a rerun of a mystery series called Remington Steele. Pierce played the suave, debonair, mysterious Remington who always solved the mystery by using classic movie plots to figure out the murder. What is not to like? A tall, dark and handsome man who likes old movies? I was hooked.

When he became James Bond, just a modern version of Remington, I had a huge poster of him in the back of my closet. I suppose that is as close as I have come to being giddy over a celebrity.

His movies are on the lousy side, I must admit. Although there are a few gems here and there. (Evelyn is notable as well as Laws of Attraction.)

In his newest endeavor, Mamma Mia (a musical), he is one of the three love interests of Meryl Streep. I am not a fan of the plot, but I am a fan of the music. I love Pierce and I love ABBA. So I was eager to see the movie. Sadly, I report that according to the audience on opening night, the two do not belong together. People laughed and then groaned at Pierce's singing or straining. It was not the best singing I have heard, but all I can say is Lay Off!!! It won't be the worst singing I will have heard in my lifetime either.

I am still a Pierce Brosnan fan.

Wha?

Yes, it is true. The phrase "Ah-oh SpaghettiOs" did come out of my mouth today. And I was at work when it happened.

PROtography

One of the awesome things we did on the trip to DC was go on a "Photo Safari" in Georgetown. The second day we were in DC we met our tour guide and a group of photography enthusiasts at "The Old Stone House". Bryonny, Kristi and I, with our cameras in hand, set out to learn how to be a PROtographer. That's right we are now practically pros at photography.

Here are some tips and examples...

This is an example of a picture I took before the Photo Safari: Note that it is 2-dimensional and dull. (No offense to my subjects.)(Bry and Kristi on the 4th of July with the Washington Monument in the background.)

To give your photo dimension, have the subject face sideways and then turn their face towards the camera - giving a third dimension to an otherwise flat looking photo.

(Bryonny outside the old stone house in Georgetown.)

Get close to the subject. Fill the frame with the desired object.

(Kristi at Washington Harbor in the shade of her umbrella.)

Frame your photos with tree branches, archways, bushes and flowers.

(The Arlington Cemetery comes alive (muah hahahahaha) with the tree framing it.)

Get down low and look up at your subject.

(This is my friend Nathan taking some shots of us at Mount Vernon. Although you can't see the resulting pictures, they were superb. We taught him all he knows about photography, or maybe we taught him all we know about photography. )

Keep your verticals as straight as possible.

(This is Bry outside the gardens at the Smithsonian Castle.)

For more photography tips, you should take a class or pay me money. That is all the free advise I can afford right now.

Touchy-touchy

A week or so ago my sister and I went to the San Diego County Fair and encountered numerous signs that stunt or hinder freedom, expression, and even personality. "Do not use the hot tubs." "Do not pet the cute and fuzzy bunnies." "Keep your hands in the ride at all times." And the following sign really got me. Where on earth can I go where I can freely hit, kick, and lick things at will?


Well...I had to travel east to our Nation's Capitol, Washington, D.C.!!! Thank You Founding Fathers for the Freedoms I do enjoy! I went to numerous museums where I touched things at my heart's desire! I touched real moon rock and a chunk of Mars, a space suit, and marble statues up the wahzoo. I thoroughly relished the experience.

Inside the Museum of Natural History I thought I had died and gone to heaven when I saw the sign: "Please Touch". Seriously!

I even tried on the Hope Diamond. Everyone said it matched my eyes (blue) and that I should wear it home. Instead I only wore it to a hoity-toity dinner at Palette one night. The thing is heavy, so I returned it in the morning. (Yeah, for reals.)

More on my trip to D.C. to come, if you are lucky.