You'll Poke Your Eye Out!

Next time you tell your mom that you want to be a pirate and she retorts with that age-old comeback, "But, you'll poke your eye out!" You can tell her that is just not so.

With all of the eye patches worn by pirates, many assume that during the daily grind of plundering and looting, eyes were easily plucked out, much like grapes being plucked from a vine. It is logical that with all those swords flinging about, someone is bound to get hurt. But if you think about allllll those eye patches... there must be another explanation.

I was recently informed that the eye patch was merely a device used to quickly adjust from dark to light. The pirates, who often went above and below deck, used eye patches to have one eye adjusted for the top deck (bright sunlight) and the other eye already adjusted for the darkness when suddenly going below deck. With virtually no light sources below deck, sailors would have to rely heavily upon their eyes to adjust, which could require several minutes. In the critical moments of modifying the rigging, navigating, and especially during bloody, gory, ferocious battles, those minutes were too precious. A simple switch of the patch from one eye to the other saved time and was more convenient than being temporarily blinded when going between decks.


That reminds me of a hilarious joke about a red-shirted pirate captain.



Yo Ho Matey! Argh!

And they call her Callie Mae

I have a new baby niece! She was born on Thursday January 22, 2009. I would show you a picture, but I don't know how to download them from my phone. I will, however, show you some blankets that I made for the kid.

This one has little lions and tigers and crocodiles (oh my!). The jagged edge of the quilt took some time, but look at those perfect corners! Brilliant craftsmanship.

This is the one my Mom picked out. It has little pink bears, flowers, and watering cans on it. It's boarder is an eyelet lace trim. Quaint and precious.
Both are exquisite, if I say so myself.

I would be happy to slave away and sew one for you too. All orders may be placed via e-mail. Mind you, they will cost a pretty penny if you are not blood related. (And when I say "pretty penny", I do not mean a mere shiny $0.01. Because really, with the love I sew into these, they are worth a fortune. Lucky for you I take credit cards.)

A Month in Little TJ

I just got back from a months stay in Concord. It is in the San Francisco Bay Area and it is where I grew up. Parts of it have turned into a Mexican village. There are carnicerias and panederias and rancheros and Mexicans on every corner. Here are some pictures I took from my car window.

Here are some Authentic Concord Mexicans milling around outside a check cashing joint...lounging outside of a thrift store...

loitering outside of a boot barn...

and waiting for a bus... Bienvenidos a Concord! La Tia Juana del Norte! Viva Concord! Viva Concord! Viva Concord!

Good Enough To Eat

Thanks to Kesler's comment on my bacon post, I whipped up a batch of Dark Chocolate Bacon Cupcakes. Truth is, they were delish. The cupcake itself was awesome, the bacon was just an added texture/salty sensation. The cupcakes would be marvelous with or without the BACON.


Here is the recipe, for you baking pleasure:

Ingredients:
12 slices bacon
2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 cups white sugar
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
2 eggs
1 cup Postum (Actual recipe uses cold, strong, brewed coffee)
1 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder, for dusting

Directions:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Place bacon in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium-high heat until evenly brown. Drain, crumble and set aside.

In a large bowl, stir together the flour, 3/4 cup cocoa powder, sugar, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Make a well in the center and pour in the eggs, postum, buttermilk, and oil. Stir just until blended. Mix in 3/4 cup of the bacon, reserving the rest for garnish. Spoon the batter into the prepared cups, dividing evenly.

Bake in the preheated oven until the tops spring back when lightly pressed, 20 t0 25 minutes. Cool in the pan set over a wire rack. When cool, arrange the cupcakes on a serving platter. Frost with your favorite chocolate frosting and sprinkle reserved bacon crumbles on top. Dust with additional cocoa powder.

(I made my own chocolate frosting from a mixture of butter, powdered sugar, cocoa powder, vanilla, and water.)

Seriously, you should try these.

Bacon = Heaven

I was in bed last night watching the food network. Not unusual, but last night was special. Iron Chef America happened to be on and it was the Bacon Challenge! I was drooling from the moment the secret ingredient was announced!

Can you imagine? Bacon is the manna of livestock! You can barbecue it, broil it, bake it, saute it, smoke it, double-smoke it, cure it. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's maple bacon, smoked bacon, Irish bacon, Canadian bacon, bacon soup, bacon stew, bacon salad, bacon and potatoes, bacon burgers, bacon sandwiches, BLTs, bacon and pasta, pineapple and bacon, bacon wrapped meats .

It was a glorious episode! However, I was disappointed that the chefs did not make bacon flavored ice cream or a dessert sprinkled in bacon bits. I bet yellow cake with cream cheese frosting and crumbled bacon would have made heads turn. (Maybe stomachs turn, but doubtful.)

Well, for all you bacon enthusiasts out there, you already know that there is bacon flavored dental floss available for that fresh, just ate feeling. It might come in handy on the first Sunday of the month for some of us. Like aromatherapy for your teeth and gums.
And for those accident prone individuals, there are bacon shaped bandages. Like a steak on a black eye will reduce swelling and bruising, the adhesive plastic in the shape of meat slabs, will trick your mind into healing faster. Be warned! You may get the urge to give yourself a paper cut just to use a mouth-watering band aid. I once asked a preacher if there will be bacon in heaven. He choked on his bag of pork rinds before he could answer.