Ah, that Christmas Spirit...

I am not the biggest facebook fan or user, but this was one of the funniest strings of comments I read this season and it has to do with Wham's overplayed Christmas tune "Last Christmas".  Enjoy!

It happens to the best of us...

 

The worst roommate ever...

I have heard numerous tales of people talking about their worst roommates.  In comparison, all of mine have been pretty darn awesome. Then again, none of them had one of these...

The Thunderclap Alarm Clock.

"My hearing isn't what it used to be and I had trouble hearing different alarm clocks, but not this one."
- C. from Warren, MI

This is the alarm clock that wakes even the most stubborn sleepers with a 113-decibel ringer that's as loud as thunder. Far from relying simply on sound, the alarm clock can be set to flash its three bright red LEDs and the included vibrating pad can be placed under a mattress to provide an insistent, bed-shaking tremor that serves as the last line of defense against oversleeping.

Anything with the words "sonic bomb" should not be allowed:
1 - If you share a room
2 - If you sleep with your windows open
3 - If you live within a block of me

"Black Bart" Beware!

Christmas is on its way!  You are probably fretting about what to get that gun-lover in your life...well worry no longer! 

What ever you decide on, be sure to put a bow on it!

Strange Smells

I just got back from a trip to Virginia.  I haven't unpacked all of my bags yet, so I am using a spare deodorant that has a different scent.  I am not used to it and for the last 4 days I have felt like I have had a stranger standing behind me everywhere I go!

Sci-Fi: Is this real life?

We don't have hover crafts yet, but elementary schools have palm scans to go through the school lunch line???? 

Hello, this is the Poway Unified School District Food and Nutrition Department writing to let you know that we will be implementing new technology this year that will increase the privacy and security of your child's lunch account. We will be instituting a new system involving scanning your child's palm. Palm scanning will eliminate the need for entering PIN numbers or showing your school ID cards. This technology has been used successfully at other school districts for years; it has increased the speed and accuracy of serving lines which allows students more time to eat, relax, and socialize. Please be assured that the scanned image of your child's palm print cannot be duplicated or used for any other identification purposes. We will have a scanning station at your child's school during registration for the 2012-13 school year. This new system is voluntary. If you wish to opt out please contact the Food and Nutrition Department at (XXX) XXX-XXXX. Students may continue to pay for lunch with cash. Thank you very much. To listen to the above message, you will need audio software and speakers on your computer. Cash is sooooo a thing of the past.  I feel like I am in a Twilight Zone movie.

All of a Sudden...

My roommate happens to be from the same city up in Northern California that I am.  We didn't know each other growing up, but we know the same places. 

She took some friends to a certain spot in Walnut Creek near a movie theater that was otherwise surrounded by what appeared to be business buildings.  You walk past building after tall building with extensive windows and stone walls and "all of a sudden, ice cream!" 

An unexpected ice cream establishment in a busy business part of town can be quite thrilling!

And so might this:

That's for you LC!

Weapon of Choice

Your weapon of choice?  I found out that mine is poison.

When confronted with dirty fat rats that are eating my tomatoes, instead of traps that snap their necks or humane contraptions that keep them alive, I opted for poison.  Poison which I stuffed into one of the tomatoes that they had eaten.  It looks appetizing and it worked like a charm!

Who am I fooling?  I already knew my weapon of choice was poison.  I even have a ring with a secret compartment in it and everything.

Sore Throat

I am not sick, but I did make a fantastic Carpenters CD and I sang at the top of my lungs all the way home from work today.  It was a good half an hour of Karen and I.  We sound good together.  Er...well, she sounds good and I get by since I had no passengers that can tell me otherwise.

I love today's image for Google!!!

CARROTS

Today while I was eating a carrot I thought about my friend, Susan.

She doesn't like carrots.

And I thought, "Yeah. That is a good thing not to like."

Geography 101

I think there are a lot of us out there that don't know geography like we should...

Marketing Skills

On a recent search for some rum extract, I ended up on Amazon and was quite amused by the marketing skills of McCormick and/or Amazon. This is the info given:

Rum Extract - 16 oz. Jar by McCormick
Product Features: Delicious
Product Description: McCormick Imitation Rum Extract may be substituted for small amounts of rum in a recipe.
Nutritional Information: This product has no significant nutritional value.

Uh. Sold. Why wouldn't I buy a product whose one feature is Delicious?!

"Literally"

We all have noticed that people overuse the word "literally" and use it wrong.
Example: "After today's run, my legs are jell-o. Literally."
Um? Really? What flavor? Because I could go for wild strawberry with fruit in it right about now.

I saw this recentley and all you Mormons out there may get a kick out of this painting entitled Lehi's Dream...

...literally! For all those unfamiliar...Lehi was a prophet and usually something entitled "Lehi's Dream" would be a picture of what he dreamed about, not of him actually dreaming!

World Compliment Day

I was told that March 1st is World Compliment Day! In honor of that, I would like to encourage you all to go out there and tell someone the things you think but never say! Tell someone they make a mean bowl of oatmeal or that they have a real talent for painting toenails!

And anyone reading this deserves to know, you are absolutely brilliant for reading my blog.

Move over MacGyver

Today at work I was looking through a magazine and saw this:
The Only Complete Swiss Army Knife.

This is the largest Swiss Army knife in the world, holder of the Guinness World Record for "The Most Multifunctional Penknife," with 87 precision-engineered tools spanning 112 functions. It has seven blades, three types of pliers, three golf tools, 25 flat- and Phillips-head screwdrivers and bits, saws, wrenches, and more. It also has a bicycle chain rivet setter, signal whistle, 12/20-gauge shotgun choke tube tool, combination fish scaler, hook disgorger, and line guide tool, cigar-cutting scissors, laser pointer, tire-tread gauge, toothpick, tweezers, and key ring. It will also make your bed and cook you breakfast.

With this and some duct tape I could rule the world.

It is incredibly appealing with all its gadgetry. But is it too big (3 1/4" L x 8 3/4" W. (2 3/4 lbs.))??? In a pinch, when it would come it handy, perhaps trying to use the tools off of it wouldn't be convenient at all!

(It is a mere $999 if anyone wants to get it for me, I will let you know how convenient it really is.)

Let it Flow

Today I was typing up the verbiage as my boss dictated what he wanted covered in our next news paper article. He mentioned that the pantries in the homes we build are spacious enough to fit everything after "Costco runs".

I frowned. He asked what was wrong and I told him it sounded to me like the free samples at Costco didn't agree with someone and they had the "Costco runs". Time for some Pepto bismol.

When you say that in front of your boss, well, it might be time to find a new job.

Don't worry. We changed the wording.

Educated Drives

Lately I have been listening to Audio CDs when I travel home from work. Last night I put on the last disk of the current mystery book I have been listening to.

5 minutes passed. 10 minutes...As I was listening, I realized how much the story sucked! All of a sudden they had solved the mystery and then the climax was resolved too quickly and there were holes in the story line. I was quite frustrated and angry that I had wasted so much time listening to something that completely deflated in the end!

I was about to chuck the whole disc set when I realized the "Random" buttom had been pushed on my CD player.

Ha.

It makes a whole lot more sense in order.

If I didn't know enough nerds already...

My roommate's family is pretty deep into Ham Radios.** (Yes. It is "Ham" for all those of you who think it is "hand".) Ham radio is amateur radio for recreation, wireless communication and emergency communication. It is not used for commercial broadcasting or music.

Thinking it would be handy for emergency purposes (for the imminent end of the world when our cell phones won't work), I decided to join my roommate in taking the ham class and the ham test regarding concepts of electronics and radio regulations.

I sat through 10 hours of class to take a 20 minute test.

Don't worry folks. I passed the 'ol Ham Radio Technician exam. I am legally KJ6TOY. Now I can communicate with over 2 million other ham nerds across the world and even into space...what!? Yeah. We will keep the world in tact as long as we can.

I have even been practicing the phonetic alphabet (Kilo Juliet Six Tango Oscar Yankee) and now the only thing missing is...the radio?



**They are so deep they are honey-baked.