Best Gift Ever...

I know what I want for Christmas!!!

Call Me Gloves!!!

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Why men are never depressed...

My Boss forwarded this email around the office.  I am sure extensive research was done.

 

Men Are Just Happier People--What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack...

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

If someone forgets to invite you,

He or she can still be your friend.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives

On December 24 in 25 minutes.

Spy Sunglasses

I was chatting with my friend JT about spies.  Such an exciting, mysteriously intriguing topic!   

JT said she was at Costco and saw "Spy Sunglasses".  She started to wonder what would make a pair of sunglasses specifically spy glasses? 

 

Then she realized "Spy" was the brand name!

 

I was hoping for lasers or x-ray vision.

Samples

I recently moved.  Because of that I realized I have a ton of small sample sized body washes and shampoos.  I am working my way through them.

Today I used a body wash from Crabtree & Evelyn.

I smell like Grandmas.

Free nuts...

It is said that good looking people get a lot of things for free.  

It doesn't happen to me a lot, but I just got about $0.60 worth of nuts and bolts at the hardware store.  I only paid a wink, a smile, and some "woodshop" lingo.

Just say'n.

All Sorts

There are two kinds of people in this world.  

Both can be found at the Target on Mira Mesa Boulevard.  

The Musician

This morning as I was leaving for work, exiting through a dimly lit garage, my roommate mentioned she would go to Home Depot to get new light bulbs for the garage.  We have all been on the verge of seizures because of the flickering lights.  As the door began to squeek closed, she reopened it, opened the pantry door right next to it and then the bathroom door all of which have their own pitch or octave of creaks.  She began to "play the doors" as they each squeeked their own tune!  After a short concert and a fit of giggles she said, "And I will pick up some WD-40." 

Welcome to San Diego!

I live south of the helm but work where the digger is.

Yes.  This is what I did at work today...

Hot Tub Boat???

Why?

Bite me!

Long story short, I had a cyst removed in December and the top of my hand is still numb.  Because I am numb, I don't know when this happened. I don't remember seeing it yesterday, but this morning in the shower I noticed this on my hand...

I am pretty sure I got bit.  Not by a radioactive spider of course, but by a happy one for sure.

 

(P.S.  Give me a break.  It is winter and my hands are a bit on the dry side.)

Aw, Nuts!

I was munching on these delectable nuts one day and happened to look at the label...

Hey "Almond People"! Since when can you calculate total carbohydrates by subtracting the fiber?  

 

Not that I am complaining.

 

(And that is how to work in a post about poop on Valentine's Day. You're Welcome.)

Unexpected

Today I actually sent an email entitled, "Nevermind the last Hooker request". 

I never thought I would ever string those words together. 

"Hooker" is the last name of one of our clients at work and it is always good for a laugh.